REVIEWED FILMS (BY TITLE)

For this page, I took the liberty of uploading Stephen Wildish's Horror Film Alphabet, which I found to be simply irresistible. Be sure to check out all of his little pop art pieces on his homepage.

28 Weeks Later (2007) - **








À l'intérieur (2007) - *1/2
Absentia (2011) - **1/2
Affreux, sales et méchants (1976) - *****
All Night Long 2: Atrocity (1995) - **1/2
The Ambassador (2011) - ****
Amer (2009) - ****
American Mary (2012) - ***1/2
L'amour braque (1985) - ***
Animals (2012) - ***1/2
Another Earth (2011) - ****
Anthropophagus (1980) - *1/2
Antichrist (2009) - ***
Arjun: The Warrior Prince (2012) - **
Art of the Devil (2004) - *1/2
Attack the Block (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
August Underground (2001) - ****








Bad Milo (2013) - ***
Baise-moi (2000) - **
Bangkok Knockout (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Bas-fonds (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Battle Royale (2000) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) - ****
Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) - ***1/2
Big Ass Spider! (2013) - **
Black Pond (2011) - ***
Black Swan (2010) - ****1/2
Black's Game (2012) - ***
The Blob (1988) - ***
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971) - ****
Bounty Killer (2013) - ***
Brawler (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Bullhead (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Burke and Hare (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Burning (1981) - **
The Burning Buddha Man (2013) - ***








The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - *1/2
Candyman (1992) - ****
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) - ****
The Catechism Cataclysm (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Children of the Corn (1984) - *
Chop (2010) - *1/2
Chopping Mall (1986) - **
Clown: The Movie (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Cold Sweat (2010) - ***
Commando: One Man Army (2013) - *1/2
Contagion (2011) - **1/2
Contamination (1980) - **1/2
Curse of Chucky (2013) - **








Damien: Omen II (1978) - **1/2
Dante 01 (2008) - *1/2
The Dark Hours (2005) - ***1/2
Dawn of the Dead (1978) - *****
Deadgirl (2008) - ***1/2
Dead End (2003) - ***
The Dead Experiment (2013) - *
Death Weekend (1976) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Deep Blue Sea (1999) - **
Deep Rising (1998) - **
Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010) - ***1/2
Devil (2010) - 1/2*
The Devil's Rock (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Dharma Guns (La succession Starkov) (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Dirties (2013) - *
The Divide (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Don't Go Breaking My Heart (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Doomsdays (2013) - ***
Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde (1920) - ***
Drag Me to Hell (2009) - ***
Dragon (2011) - ***1/2
Drug War (2013) - ***1/2








Exit (2012) - CAPSULE REVIEW








Fateful Findings (2013) - BOMB
Final Destination (2000) - **
The Final Destination (2009) - **
Fists of the White Lotus (1980) - *1/2
The Fly (1986) - ****
The FP (2011) - 1/2*
Frankenstein 2000 aka The Vindicator (1986) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Friday the 13th Part III (1982) - *
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) - 1/2*
Frankenstein's Bloody Nightmare (2006) - ***
The Funhouse (1981) - **1/2








Gag (2006) - **
Un génie, deux associés, une cloche (1975) - CAPSULE REVIEW
George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead (2009) - *1/2
Ginger Snaps (2000) - **1/2
Grace (2009) - **1/2
Grave Encounters (2011) - ***
Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood (1985) - **
Guinea Pig 5: Android of Notre Dame (1989) - *1/2
Gyo: Tokyo Fish Attack (2012) - ***








H6: Diary of a Serial Killer (2005) - *
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - **1/2
Hatchet (2006) - *
The Haunting of Julia (1977) - ***
Haute Tension (2003) - ****
Header (2006) - **
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) - **
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) - ***1/2
Helldriver (2010) - **1/2
Hellraiser (1987) - ***1/2
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) - **
Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996) - *1/2
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000) - **1/2
Hemorrhage (2012) - *1/2
The Hills Have Eyes (1977) - ***
The Hills Have Eyes (2006) - *
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) - ***
Hollow (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Horny House of Horror (2010) - *
A Horrible Way to Die (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
House (1986) - *1/2
House of the Dead (2003) - *
House on the Edge of the Park (1980) - ***1/2
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - **1/2
L'hypothèse du Mokélé-Mbembé (2011) - ***1/2








I Saw the Devil (2010) - ****1/2
I Spit on Your Grave (2010) - *
Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975) - CAPSULE REVIEW
In My Skin (2002) - ****
Inbred (2011) - *
Invasion of Alien Bikini (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Ip Man: The Legend Is Born (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Ironclad (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW








Jeepers Creepers II (2003) - ***








Kidnapped (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Kill Me Please (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Killing of America (1982) - *1/2
Knifepoint (2011) - **1/2








Lapland Odyssey (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Last Days Here (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Lesson of the Evil (2012) - **
Let's-Make-the-Teacher-Have-a-Miscarriage Club (2010) - *1/2
A Letter to Momo (2011) - ****
Lifeforce (1988) - *1/2
Little Deaths (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
A Lonely Place to Die (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Lord of Illusions (1995) - ***
Love (2011) - **
Lowlife (2012) - ***








Macabre (2009) - **
Marianne (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Massacre Gun (1967) - ****
Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend - The Movie (2012) - **
Memory of the Dead (2011) - 1/2*
Metro Manila (2013) - ***
Midnight Son (2011) - **1/2
The Mist (2007) - ***1/2
Mistaken for Strangers (2013) - ***1/2
Mondomanila (2011) - **1/2
Monster (aka Humanoids from the Deep) (1980) - **1/2
Monster Brawl (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Monsters (2010) - ***
Motel Hell (1980) - **
Mutants (2009) - **1/2








Nakedness Which Wants to Die Too Much (2012) - **1/2
Needful Things (1993) - **
Neighborhood Watch (2005) - ***
Neverlost (2010) - *1/2
A Night of Nightmares (2012) - BOMB
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) - *
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - **
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) - *1/2
Number 10 Blues/Goodbye Saigon (1975-2013) - ***








One Hundred Years of Evil (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW








The Pact (2012) - ***
Panique (1977) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Perfect Host (2010) - **1/2
The Phantom of the Opera (1925) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Pinocchio 964 (1991) - ***
Piranha (1978) - ***
Piranha (2010) - ***
Pop Skull (2007) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Possession (1981) - ****1/2
Postman Blues (1997) - ****1/2
Profound Desires of the Gods (1968) - *****








I'll try and review Q -The Winged Serpent as soon as possible!








Rabies (2011) - ***
Raze (2013) - **1/2
[Rec] (2007) - ***1/2
Red Room 2 (2000) - **1/2
Red State (2011) - *
Redline (2009) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Reef (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Resolution (2012) - **1/2
Retreat (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Return to Nuke 'em High - Volume 1 (2013) - 1/2*
Revenge: A Love Story (2010) - ***
Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (2009) - **1/2
Robo-G (2012) - **1/2
Robocop (2014) - **
Rocky Balboa (2006) - ***
Ronal the Barbarian (2011) - ***
Rubber's Lover (1996) - ***








Saint (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Saint-Martyrs-des-Damnés (2005) - **1/2
Samurai Cop (1989) - ****
Saw VI (2009) - **1/2
Schoolgirl Apocalypse (2011) - **
Scream (1996) - ***1/2
Scream 2 (1997) - ***1/2
Scream 3 (2000) - **
Les sept jours du talion (2010) - ***
A Serbian Film (2010) - ****
Se7en (1995) - ****1/2
Shadow of the Vampire (2000) - ***
The Silence (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Sleepaway Camp (1983) - ***
El Sol (2009) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Some Guy who Kills People (2011) - ***
Splice (2010) - ***1/2
Stake Land (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Stepfather (2009) - 1/2*
Street Trash (1987) - ***1/2
The Stuff (1985) - ***
Super (2010) - ***1/2
Superheroes (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Surviving Life (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Suspiria (1977) - *****
Szamanka (1996) - ***








The Tall Man (2012) - **1/2
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) - *****
Thanatomorphose (2012) - *
The Thing (1982) - ***1/2
Toad Road (2012) - ***1/2
Tokyo Fist (1995) - ****
Tokyo Gore Police (2008) - ***
Tomie: Unlimited (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Troll 2 (1990) - **1/2
Troll Hunter (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
True Legend (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW








The Unborn (2009) - *1/2
Up in the Air (2009) - 1/2*
Urban Explorer (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Urotsukidôji: Legend of the Overfiend (1989) - ****
Uzumaki (2000) - ***
Uzumasa Jacopetti (2013) - **








Vampire (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Victim (2011) - *
Victims (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW








Wake in Fright (1971) - CAPSULE REVIEW
Wasted on the Young (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
What Fun We Were Having: 4 Stories about Date Rape (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Whisperer in Darkness (2011) - **
The Wicker Man (1973) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Wicker Tree (2010) - CAPSULE REVIEW
The Woman (2011) - CAPSULE REVIEW
World War Z (2013) - ***








X - The Man With X-Ray Eyes (1963) - ***1/2








You Are Here (2010) - ***1/2
You Are the Apple of My Eye (2011) - ***1/2
Young Gun in the Time (2012) - ***1/2








Zero Charisma (2013) - **1/2
Zombie (1979) - ****
Zombie 108 (2012) - **1/2

TEXTS AND ESSAYS

Revenge of the Phallic Woman

A feminist exposé on the shortcomings of psychoanalytical theory in formulating a relevant critique of David Cronenberg's Rabid (1977).

Elusive Terrors - Horror Films and the Moving Frame

A study of the moving camera aesthetics in Suspiria (1977), Predator (1987) and The Evil Dead II (1987). Probably got an A+ for this one.

The Cronenbergian Maieutics

A study of David Cronenberg's filmography focusing on his recurrent exploration and uncanny depiction of man's most visceral instincts. Probably got an A+ for this one.

Hyperopic Worlds

A personal, and frankly whiny exploration of my childhood infatuation with horror cinema.

The Ghoul Report: An Introduction

A short introduction in which I set myself some strenuous objectives that I managed to achieve only in my most demented moments of inspiration.

Se7en (1995)

Review #0048

Se7en is without a doubt one of the most memorable films of the 1990s and a rightful precursor to the highly influential torture porn sub-genre. It features director David Fincher, cinematographer Darius Khondji (a close collaborator to J.-P. Jeunet) and leads Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt at their very best. The premise is supremely intriguing, and the execution is flawless. This is the quintessential contemporary thriller.

You think Brad Pitt is just a pretty face? He isn't.

Less attractive, but even better is the great Morgan Freeman.

The rain-slicked Los Angeles streets form the stage for this sordid tale of morality gone wrong. They are home to many wicked creatures and sad souls among which are seasoned police detective Somerset (Freeman), newbie inspector Mills (Pitt) and a vicious serial killer known only as John Doe (Kevin Spacey, in a short but unforgettable performance). This killer's M.O. is simple but brilliant: he chooses his victims according to the deadly sins they have committed. Hence, he kills a morbidly obese man for his gluttony, a high-priced defense attorney for his greed... all in ritualistic fashion involving the utmost suffering of the "sinful" victims. Hot on his trail is the newly formed duo of Mills and Somerset. But wise as Somerset may be and feisty as Mills may be, they have a hard time catching the killer who's visibly very smart and organized, always a step ahead of the protagonists. It's a race against the clock as the corpses keep piling up and clues remain elusive. In the end, despite energetic investigation, the detectives can only catch John Doe when he willingly presents himself at police plaza and calmly surrenders. He makes a deal with the police to escort him to the location of the last two remaining corpses in exchange for a full confession of guilt. Having no alternative, Mills and Somerset fall into the killer's trap, which is the final part of his master plan. Will the two men have the will (and composure) necessary to beat the cunning psycho at his own game? Or will evil win? Co-starring Gwyneth Paltrow as Mill's wife who completes the cast of what is essentially a four characters scenario. Although her screentime is limited, Paltrow is efficient in the few key scenes she partakes in.

"Realize detective, the only reason that I'm here
right now is that I wanted to be." - John Doe

John Doe's murders are shocking and their aftermath are shamelessly framed by Khondji's camera (who went on to film even weirder stuff in Alien: Resurrection). This is perhaps the main reason for this film's staying power. A monstrously obese man (we're talking maybe 400 pounds here) living in a filthy apartment full of grease and roaches, force-fed spaghetti until he burst. The veins on his bloated, pickled body are glistening under the flashlights of the detectives and the medical lights at the morgue. A man kept alive for a whole year without food, looking like a blind ghoul gasping for air with vain frenesy. A prostitute, fucked with a strap-on knife by a man with a gun held in his throat. We don't actually see the massacred genitalia on this one, but we can imagine well enough thanks to a polaroid of the murderous contraption and the manic testimony of the man forced to wear it (Leland Orser, who went on to commit an even weirder murder in Alien: Resurrection). As you might have guessed, a total of seven murders (one for each of the deadly sins), all more repulsive than the last. If you have a weak stomach, or worse yet, if the mere descriptions I did of the murders turns you off, you might find it more arduous to watch Se7en, but in the end, you might find it more rewarding. In all truth, it is precisely the uniquely horrific nature of the crimes that makes the investigation so intriguing (and involving) as one cannot help but feel strongly against such atrocities. Moreover, the very bleakness of the murders directly partakes in the mood of the film, also a huge part of its effectiveness.

Murders aside, Fincher perfectly captures the depressing atmosphere needed to aptly frame the story. By shooting the dirty streets of L.A. under gray skies and torrential rain as he does, he successfully conveys a mood of lingering despair and hopelessness that seems to complexify the mystery, or at least cast some nasty shadows over it. And what's interesting is that the interiors are no less oppressive. Either bloody murder scenes, shady places of depravity (a shadowy "massage" parlor, the killer's apartment, a leather shop...), overcrowded offices, cheap apartments, these locales feature unsavory characters and filthy reminders of rampaging poverty that intentionally (and quite successfully) set-up Los Angeles as a literal hell-hole. The only safe haven from total gloom is the somptuous public library where we see Somerset researching the case in a short scene that is beautifully scored and brilliantly intercut with shots of Mills scratching his head over gory photos of murder victims. With all the nobility in the world, Somerset skims the alleys and shows us classic illustrations of horror from gorgeous editions of Dante's Purgatory, The Canterbury Tales and other such works. This just goes to show that knowledge will always reveal the inevitability of man/faith-made atrocities. Another bleak obsevation that sorts of spoils that single homely locale. At this point in his life, being a soon-to-retire detective who has seen it all, Somerset is a very pessimistic man. And his pessimism carries the story (while also offering contrepoint to Mill's youthful but eventually vain optimism). Because that's another thing about Se7en: at the heart of it is a very wisely pessimistic character, a character who is almost Shakespearian-ly tragic. He knows that our world is doomed and he knows best, as we're confirmed when the mystery brilliantly unravels. Everyone is corrupt in one way or another, and although this might sound like an overly moralistic statement, it is the truth. In the end, we are so overwhelmed by this revelation that John Doe's logic actually seems sound as he explains the motives behind his repulsive crimes. Points are certainly due to Fincher (and to Spacey, of course) for almost making us empathize with a character whose horrible crimes are so meticulously described before.

Another of the film's most obvious assets is the very able, limited cast. Four main characters, perfectly fleshed-out by an A-list cast in great shape. No intricate sub-plots involving tertiary informants, just a simple, straightforward drama about what it is to be in hell. There is great screen chemistry between Freeman and Pitt as virtual opposites learning to bond with one another. There is great chemistry between Freeman, Pitt and Spacey during the short but crucial "confession" scene. Despite the demanding screenplay, they all offer flawless performances that highly heighten the dramatic quality of the film, and thus make the vacuum of depression even wider. Mills is an emotional character, quite unfit to deal with an emotional case such as John Doe's, let alone seamlessly blend in his new environment. In the end, it is but a fleeting emotion which determines his fate. Somerset is a blasé old-timer who has killed his emotions to survive. Now, not only are those two characters perfectly portrayed, but so is the subtle interplay between them. We're not talking about buddy cops who jump in front of bullets for each other here. We're talking about two round characters trying to find a middle ground amidst all the chaos of urban life. The case is what ties them together. The case is Somerset's lesson to Mills, with whom he didn't want to work with at first, saying it was too rough of a first case for him. In the end, as things unfold in very Shakespearian fashion, it's as if the two detectives were classic dramatic figures. I don't think I could over-emphasize how good they were. As for the supporting cast, they all offer fine performances, some of which are memorable despite their shortness. As "man in massage parlour booth", Michael Massee calmly explains life to an over-excited detective Mills:

- You didn't see anyone with a package, asks Mills naively after he's learned from the potential witness that every client of the massage parlor had to go through him, a knapsack, something
under their arms?

-Hey, everybody that comes in there has a package under their arms, replies the man with a thick accent. Some guys carry suitcases full of stuff.

When later asked by Mills if he likes his job, he sternly replies: "No". He then leans forward and continues: "No, I don't. But that's life." Cut to Mills, who fails to process this invaluable lesson, the umpteenth of its kind disseminated across the screenplay. If only Mills could've learned pessimism, he might have made a great downtown L.A. detective.

By the way, Michael Massee is the guy who inavertedly shot and killed Brandon Lee while working on The Crow. Poor guy apparently suffered such a trauma that he took a one-year sabbatical from acting.

We are all sinners.

4,5/5 Easily one of the best films of the 1990s (Fight Club has absolutely nothing on it).

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

This fourth installment is basically Karate Kid meets Freddy with all the uplifting rock music and action montages it implies. Right from the start, as actress Tuesday Knight (who reprised the role of Kristen Parker from Patricia Arquette) starts singing the cheesy rock anthem Nightmare, the viewer knows he's a long, long way from Wes Craven's original film. He knows that Freddy has sold out and become nothing more than a marketing gimmick aimed at undiscerning kids. Everything that made the first Nightmare so great has now been removed to fit the needs of a mainstream release. The fountains of blood are no more than nostalgic memories. The oppressive atmosphere was vaporized. And because of all the recent updates to the central mythology, it has now become a confused mess that nobody cares to explain anymore. After all, why try and come up with an explanation when you've got "dream logic", that is the magical ability of screenwriters to instantly justify any absurd event that takes place in a film where dreams are involved. What we are left with is a lot of lame visual gags and campy one-liners drowned in a sea of half-baked dialogues and bad plot twists with dazzling, but mostly ineffective special FX on top. It's truly jaw-dropping to watch such drivel derived from Craven's brilliant concept. Worst is the sluggish pace they've given the film and their lack of respect for teenage lives. But as bad as it may be, #4 nearly avoids oblivion thanks to a truly inspiring red-headed heroine and the best of all Nightmare endings.

Lisa Wilcox is gorgeous as a red-head.

She's one of the two reasons to watch this film.

Here's the plot as it appears onscreen. The gaps in logic you will have to fill in for yourselves. The film opens with Kristen Parker at the threshold of the Thompson's old homestead (in a dream). There is that annoying little girl in a white dress who is making a chalk drawing of the house on the alley. When asked if someone is home, she giggles, and assures Kristen that no one is there. But as she turns and reveals the full content of her drawing, we clearly see the face of Freddy appearing behind one of the windows. Gasp! Then, it starts raining and Kristen takes refuge inside the house where some funky shit happens, such as the fall of a tricycle from the second floor. As Kristen wanders deeper into the house, she eventually emerges into the old boiler room where Freddy used to bring back his victims. She freaks out, then summons Kincaid and Joey (you know, the two other survivors from the previous film) who try to convince her that Freddy is not coming back. But he is! And you know how? With the contact of fiery dog piss against his grave, of course! When Kincaid goes to sleep the following day, his dog enters his dream wherein they find themselves back at the car impound where the bones of old Freddy are buried. Then the dogs pisses fire on the ground and the grave opens. Inside, we see bones that magically reassemble and get covered with pulsating flesh in a sequence so derivative of Hellraiser that it seems miraculous for Robert Shaye to have avoided a lawsuit. Anyway, Freddy is back, and he easily dispatches Kincaid and Joey. But when he attacks Kristen, she is somehow able to draw another of her friends into the dream and transfer her power of dream summoning over. Kristen dies but she has entrusted her power to the new girl, Alice. Of course, Alice is overwhelmed by this new ability that she doesn't fully understand. And unwittingly, she starts drawing innocent people into her dreams where Freddy picks them up one by one. How the transfer of power works is not totally clear nor is the reason why Freddy now needs an intermediary in order to kill, nor is the reason why he needs to kill more children than those from Elm Street, etc... Anyway, after much trials and tribulations during which her brother and most of her friends have been slaughtered (without so much as a hint of drama), Alice confronts Freddy in an abandoned church where they duke it out in what is one of the most exhilarating scenes of the series crowned by the very best finale.

Freddy's demise is truly awesome this time around, but the road to get there is long and arduous. The viewer literally has to suffer all the way. Suffer narrative inconsistencies, suffer Freddy's new campy persona, but mostly, suffer the incredible boredom caused by a screenplay saturated with empty dialogue, but lacking any form of dramatic tension. The actors talk and talk and talk without conviction, without forwarding the plot in any way and without fleshing out their characters beyond the rigid boundaries of flat archetypes. Let's see here... We've got a black kid to help seamlessly use the word 'motherfucker'. Check. A pervy kid that will justify the appearance of a naked pin-up and allow Freddy's use of a "wet dream" wisecrack. Check. A damaged, chain-smoking bimbo to throw in the boiler (as demonic punishment for her nasty habit). Check. A nerdy chick with thick glasses that we can conveniently sacrifice following a sleepless night of study (1). Check. A bad-ass chick to justify close-ups of sweaty breasts while she is doing bench presses. Check. A spiky-haired karateka to cash in on the teenage martial arts trend and to dispense Miyagi-style wisdom. Check. Finally, we've got the day-dreaming daddy's girl who has the potential of becoming the new heroine by learning to fight for herself, and the sweet, supportive jock with which she can form an item. Check.

If you look at it, the screenwriters have done a pretty good job of list checking. Not only have they managed to assemble a heterogeneous group of teens the likes of which you can only find in algebra textbooks promoting diversity in the classroom, but they also made sure that the whole gamut of exploitative sex, violence and foul language could be carefully channeled and justified by something akin to characterization. In all fairness, the characters don't need to be fleshed out at all since they function exactly as one would expect them to. The main story doesn't need to be fleshed out either since the "dream killer" gimmick is now known to everybody. All that is left to do is to connect the dots and drag the paper-thin plot from one kill to the next, mechanically adding one wisecrack per kill. Plausibility is not an issue here (remember "dream logic"), nor is the emotional strain that the brutal murders of one's friends could have on a teenager. It's like the characters in the film fully realize that their friends were expandable, and that their death were inevitable. So why bother with exposition in the first place? It's obvious here that the screenwriters were doing a quick job to precipitate the release of this latest installment. But what's truly annoying here is the total lack of willingness to create any form of scary atmosphere. Most of the scenes are shot in daylight and feature healthy youths talking to one another. At times, it almost seems like a bad version of a John Hugues film. Only the occasional kill will draw you back to the world of horror. And thus, seeing how the dialogues are empty, the plot inconsistent and the mood non-existent, all we can do as spectators is wait for the next kill. And then wait for the next one. And then wait some more. There's no point in even caring for the characters as nobody in the diegetic world seems to mind their death, save for that one moment when someone will state that: "he/she is really shook up by [insert name]'s death". On top of all this, the kills aren't even that great. So you end up waiting to be disappointed over and over again, until the final few shots of the final battle which allows you to forgive the film a little and put it back on the shelf with a light heart.

From child killer to pop icon, there is but a step.

Fortunately, there is Alice. She is by far the best character in this mess, and thankfully, she is also the protagonist. She starts out as a shy, obedient girl that's prone to daydreaming. Weakened by her mother's death, she has become helpless. She cannot defend herself, nor can she manage to be assertive in front of others, particularly her drunken father and hunky love interest Dan. Her evolution is necessary for her blossoming into a woman, but also for her fighting Freddy and releasing the souls of all the children he has killed. That said, this new installment introduces a neat new gimmick to the Freddy mythos: the entrapment of children's souls within his body. If anything, the cutting-edge FX allows the creation of a truly terrifying update of previous chapters. We can now see lamenting faces protruding from Freddy's scarred chest along with bloodied arms who will eventually rip him to shreds from the inside out. This is both cool and relevant to the story. And so is the transformation of the brawny girl into a roach. It taps into her primal fear of bugs to create her own personal nightmare while allowing FX guys to show off the whole extent of their art. So there are some good things to say about the film, but since they mostly concern bit parts and ideas randomly thrown in the mix, it doesn't justify any recommendation of the film as a whole. But if you are one with a particularly effective selective memory, you might actually remember this film as being good. And if you are one like that, you probably think everything in life is good already, so...

Breasts close-ups, gore and amazing special FX, even

the best kill of the Nightmare sequels can't save #4!

I won't add much more, save to say that we had to see it coming. At the rate they were releasing the Nightmare sequels of this era (one per year), those offerings were bound to be derivative of other popular films (here, we have The Karate Kid and Hellraiser amongst others) while maintaining low quality dialogues, characterization, acting and plot. And seeing how Freddy had become more of a pop icon than a truly fearsome boogeyman, what with all the children dressing up as the razor-gloved child molester on Halloween, it was natural for the studios to further his transformation into a wisecracking anti-hero. After all, the point of these films was not to win awards or critical respect. They were made to be cost-efficient. And God knows they were. With a net profit of around 65M$, Dream Master is not the most cost-efficient entry in the series (this title will forever remain in the hands of the original, which took film audiences by storm), but it is the most lucrative. All the more reason to turn out another lame entry the following year, when Freddy's popularity came to a screeching halt, forcing New Line to introduce a 3D sequence and try to flesh out Freddy's character in order to try and sell #6. But as it stands, despite its overall suckiness, #4 may well be considered to be the pinnacle of the dream killer's career. Shame...

1,5/5 Not as bad as #2, but still pretty bad.

(1) A note to the screenwriters: straight-A students never lose sleep over their studies, especially at high school level, because they are organized and know how to efficiently spend their time. Only bad students will do all-nighters, and that's because they should've started studying earlier in the first place.

The Blob (1988)

Review #0045

A scant year after A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, the Russell/Darabont writing team is back for this surpringly good remake of the 1958 drive-in classic that contains many twists on the dated premise. You know the story: a monstrous blob crashes on Earth inside a meteor and menaces to devour a small American community which an illustrious teenage hero must save. This time, both the blob and the teenage hero are back but their backgrounds are totally different. Unconvincingly enough, the glutonous man-eating monster is now a biological weapon created by American scientists to win the arms race with the U.S.S.R., which was in such a bad shape at the time that many of its satellite countries abandoned communism and Russia itself neared economic collapse. But although it's pretty unlikely that American R&D would require the sacrifice of an entire town to beat a kneeling enemy, such an apocalyptic meta-narrative taps into deep-rooted popular fears and offers some exciting action involving rocket launchers, assault rifles, unmarked trucks and flying motorcycles. Because that's what the hero rides: a motorcycle. You see, the Steve McQueen jock character actually dies early on (during an eye-popping embrace with the blob) and it's up to long-haired, cigarette-smoking greaser Kevin Dillon to save the day. And he's even got the though cheerleader with him (who is played by 18 year-old Shawnee Smith who's positively prettier and more wholesome here than as the repentant drug-addict/serial-killer from the Saw films). Finally, relevant updates in a remake! And what about those mildly rebel kids who sneak in to see Garden Tool Massacre, the generic slasher now featured during the classic movie theater blob attack? It's perfect! And perfectly campy too! The basic story may be standard 1950s fare, but the film definitely feels 1980s with its nasty, imaginative gore, elaborate special effects and action scenes, as well as its shameless (but tame) onscreen killing of a ten-year old boy! The Blob is a fun film that revels in artifice. But it also benefits from a savvy, funny script featuring engaging characters and situations.

It could be anybody agonizing under there, but it's actually Steve McQueen's character!

This Blob features everything you could possibly want from a grade-B monster movie. It's got an elaborate setting that's homely and full of nicely-fleshed characters, most enticing of all being the two underdog heroes (Smith's cheerleader is particularly strong for such a "prize" female character). It's got plenty of stunts and action involving motorcycles, bombs, guys jumping from moving trucks, blown-up government property, monster pursuits, government agents unloading entire clips of ammo on teenage civilians, and a blasting grand finale set in city streets filled with screaming onlookers. It's got effective humor to boot, but most of all: it's got inventive, gory, and tension-filled "kill" scenes. The blob being what it is, it's got endless possibilities for mayhem. It clings to skin, to walls and ceilings, it squeezes through pipes and drains and grows to envelop structures and people, extending prehensible tentacles all the while. Thankfully, all of those possibilities are exploited to their fullest by using tension instead of cheap surprises. You always know where the blob is in relation to the characters, you just don't know when it is going to strike and what exact damage it's going to do. Expectation makes the film exhilarating, while the superior (but sometimes slightly unconvincing) special effects make the monster more "life-like" than it's ever been. If the opening credits designed à la Terminator are any indication, movie-magic has come to small town, USA to disrupt, but also to amaze its peaceful inhabitants.

But here's an example of what makes this film so irresistible. An early scene in which two jock friends are getting ready for their dates by purchasing condoms at the pharmacy. Scott, the horny jock borrows money from Paul, the candid jock, by digging into his wallet, then charges toward the counter, shouting to the uptight pharmacist: "Uh, look, pal, gimme a pack of Trojans and a Binaca spray". In the same motion (and the same tracking shot), he nears the sunglasses stand and grabs a pair. While he tries them on, the town reverend appears right behind him and warmly congratulates him on his "game". A very unconfortable exchange of platitudes ensues, which is brutally interrupted just when the reverend confesses his disapointment with Scott for not attending Sunday services. The pharmacist appears smack in the middle of a three shot holding two boxes of condoms inbetween his thumbs and indexes. "You want the ribbed or the regular" he asks the jock who nervously glimpses at the reverend and makes this awkward reply: "Ribbed..., he says in a shattering voice, I guess. They're not for me you know. They're for my friend!". Grabbing the opportunity with both hands, he points toward Paul who holds a magazine, and makes impatient gestures toward him. "There's this sort of naive girl that he's planning on... well, you know, he confides to the reverend. And I... I insisted he takes precautions". "Why doesn't he pay for them?" candidly asks the cashier, ignorant of the fact that he actually is. "I had to drag him down here as it is, says Scott in an exasperated tone. The guy is totally irresponsable". As if to purposefully grant credibility to his friend's lies, Paul exclaims: "What's the hold-up, Scott? I can't keep this girl waiting!" The cashier then looks at him in dismay and sternly mutters: "Boy doesn't need condoms. He needs a muzzle" while making angry noises with a paper bag. Smooth-talking Scott has done it: he has dishonestly saved his honor by dragging his friend in the mud. And obviously, the story doesn't end there. Because the law of scenaristic probabilities make it necessary for the father of Paul's date to be the uptight pharmacist. So, before they head out together, Meg asks Paul to meet his father, which he immediately accepts to do. They trek through the house toward the living room, where the father is sitting in an armchair, his face hidden by a newspaper. When Meg introduces Paul, he puts down his newspaper and offers the young man a warm smile. But the instant he recognizes the "irresponsible" young man from earlier, his traits tighten and he just says, in the most affected voice possible: "Ribbed." Cut. I don't think there could've been a better way to end this scene, than with this simple word that says it all and actually makes you imagine a way crunchier follow-up than anything anybody could have ever filmed. It's teenage awkwardness materialized, which is an overlooked necessity for such horror films. Bravo!

A few scenes (and a few gruesome deaths) later, we are happily reunited with Scott Jeske's antics as he desperately tries to make his arduous condoms purchase worthwhile in what can only be described as a bachelor pad on wheels. His hammered date is oblivious to his advances so he decides to mix her yet another one of his patented strawberry drinks from his impressive trunk/bar. While he's busy doing so, we can see the blob crawl underneath the car, readying a nasty surprise for the "immoral" couple. When Scott comes back into the driver's seat, he finds his date asleep (actually, she is now a deflated, blob-filled carcass). But this only entices the adventurous young man further. He closes in on "sleeping" beauty, whispering a conqueror's words in her ears and very much ogling her breasts, eventually giving them some air by unbuttoning the lady's shirt. Ah! So rare to see such a date-rapist character, and so refreshing! After all, that's another awkward thing about teenagehood: sex with sleeping girls. So why not use it to set-up an awesome kill? Because of the dubious morality of such a scene? Fuck morality! It's not a sermon we're watching here, but an horror film. At least, Russell and company understood that. So, thank you, guys!

The blob effects alone make the film worthwhile, but it's
the engaging characters that make a real hoot.

3/5 An impeccable B monster movie.

Lord of Illusions (1995)

Review #0044

The "last" illusion indeed...

This third auto-adaptation by Clive Barker proves once more that the British author extraordinaire is just as good behind a computer than in a director's chair. This time, he manages to remain close to his Gothic roots by cleverly updating the film noir genre to include supernatural elements. After all, Lord of Illusions is less of a horror film, than a noir with magic-using characters. Every element is there: the dark and savvy detective (named Harry D'Amour, no less) caught in a dangerously intricate investigation involving a mysterious femme fatale and her rich, impotent husband, the romantic entanglement between the detective and his client and a climatic five-way duel. Barker strikes again! Based on his short story, The Last Illusion, Lord of Illusions is another crafty, tension-filled supernatural thriller featuring top-rate special effects and wondrously perverted contraptions and characters.

Warlock Nix is a paunchy cult leader à la Charles Manson who blindsides his fanatical followers with his magic. Enticed with renegade pupil Swann, which he believes to be his only worthy "student", he kidnaps a young girl and menaces to sacrifice her in order to lure him back. Swann does come back, with a bunch of gun-totting friends. With the help of the young girl, they manage to subdue Nix, to "bind" him (by screwing modular metal masks directly into his skull), and bury him. Cut to 13 years later. Bad-ass, supernatural-investigating detective Harry D'Amour is sent to L.A. for some well-deserved "vacations" when he stumbles upon sadistic cult members Butterfield and Ray Miller, who are hellbent on avenging Nix and bringing his binded carcass back to life. Enters Dorothea, Swann's seductive wife (played by Goldeneye Bond girl/Dark Phoenix Famke Janssen who looks more fetching than ever in a see-through bathing suit) who wishes to protect her husband from those freaks and thus hires D'Amour. As the mystery unfolds, Dorothea and Swann's backgrounds are slowly revealed by the cunning detective, while freaky Butterfield tries to locate the remains of his master. Eventually, Nix is revived and an exciting confrontation takes place between D'Amour, Swann, Dorothea, Nix and Butterfield.

A typical noir character, Dorothea is the woman who's seen too much

Although not on par with Gothic masterpiece Hellraiser, Lord of Illusions shares most of its significant assets including Barker's masterful direction that makes exemplary use of somptuous locales, a flair for editing exciting action sequences, awesome special effects and a tight screenplay featuring many twisted characters. The opening sequence alone features all of these elements neatly packed for an explosive start. Set in a rundown desert hideout (no doubt inspired by Charlie Manson's shack in Topanga Canyon), it features a fairly unusual rescue mission. Roaming through labyrinthine corridors, Swann and his commando must locate Nix and the girl amidst a sea of demented cult followers. When they do get a hold on the megalomaniac wizard, an exciting fight involving flight, telekinesis and binding rituals brings the opening act to a screeching halt. The only way to go from there is down. Fortunately, Barker keeps his story afloat thanks to strong characterization and the ever-present promise of weird and sadistic magic rituals. Bakula and Janssen are spot-on as the tough detective and femme fatale, while Barry Del Sharman is downright scary as Butterfield, the gay-looking sadist wearing skin-tight silver pants. The "magic" sequences are impressive, paramount of which is the nightclub act featuring Swann impaled by falling swords. This distinctive scene is absolutely exhilarating thanks to Barker's love for crisp editing and blood-spurting wounds. In the end, the film comes full circle and we find ourselves back at the dilapidated desert shack from the opening sequence. Although heavy on special effects, this wholly enjoyable finale ties all the loose ends together and makes for some pulse-pounding, eye-popping entertainment.

Nix gets what he deserves: 13 years in a sandy prison

Finally, a few words on the character of Nix. Interestingly enough, he is not the suave, well-mannered megalomaniac of, let's say... the James Bond films, but rather a true-to-life cult leader. He is fat, dirty, badly groomed and badly dressed, sort of a wizardly Manson whose cunning promises of doom are almost hypnotic. Everything about him is unsettling. He lacks the civilized demeanour that makes traditional villains almost loveable, and unlike Pinhead, he mostly steers clear of campy one-liners. Most of all, he is not at all fashionable, unlike Pinhead again, who almost singlehandedly invented S&M chic. Proof of his repulsiveness (which you could also call effectiveness) is the absence of plastic Nix figurines in the show cases of video stores and Nix costumes in the streets during Halloween... Cheers to Barker for fashioning this terrifying antagonist from scraps of collective fears instead of using a worn-out archetype. And cheers for blending the fantastic and realistic elements of the story so nicely as to make us fear that antagonist all the more.

3/5 Another savvy quality film from multi-talented auteur Barker.