Monday, September 28, 2009

The Final Destination (2009)

Review #0005

As in the three previous installments of this series, a bunch of good-looking, inexplicably rich but vacuous kids cheat death through premonition only to die in various freak accidents as the Grim Reaper reclaims their souls. Following a tension-filled, exhilirating opening sequence featuring a plethora of successful 3D effects, the film goes on a downhill slope toward boredom. Since all the characters are flat and emotionless, since all the scenes involve either lame conversations, premonitions, or other such plot devices, the entire spectatorial experience of this film can be summed up as a tedious wait between kills. And although some if those kills are great (particularly the nitrogen-bottle impalement of the mechanic which makes exemplary use of the medium), all of this is akin to masturbation: for a couple of minutes, the expectation of pleasure is titillating, but then you blow your load and everything falls flat. What's worse is that this entry is completely devoid of genuine tension as the "amazing causality" staple is often sacrificed in favor of "surprise kills" that are often disappointing, even lacking the accidental quality inherent to Death's design. And that nothwithstanding the "it was all a vision" kills, which although graphic fail to forward the narrative, and most of all, to quench our thirst for the protagonists' blood. In the end, I felt cheated, just as death, and would've very much liked to reclaim my 15$.