Here's yet another bland exploitation quickie from the Mancuso/Miner team of jobbers. Aside from the 3D gimmick and some truly lovely ladies, the film has almost no redeeming quality. It's slow-paced, boring, devoid of suspense and atmosphere with no intriguing characters, situations or murders to keep you interested. The series' staple "cha-cha-chas" are back on the soundtrack, but the stalker shot is gone, along with the genre's whole perspective on the spectator's gaze. As for returning boogeyman Jason Voorhees, he is not interesting in the least. And while he now dons a shiny goalie mask instead of a gaping sack, he gains nothing in terms of personality, remaining but a lumbering hulk who could unlikely catch a one-legged blind man given a five second head start.
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| TV starlet Dana Kimmell is a rare asset to this abysmal effort in redundancy... |
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| ... along with some truly inspired 3D sequences. |
Having recently bought the 2009 "Deluxe Edition" DVD, I was able to see this stinky slice of cheese in its original 3D iteration, which allowed me to ward off absolute boredom with a few successful attempts at bringing visual depth to its shallow, predictable narrative. Strangely enough, the film opens with a 2D sequence featuring the climactic finale of the previous film meant to ease us into the present follow-up. I doubt that anybody really thought Jason dead from a machete to the shoulder, but it's never a bad idea to recap anyway. Following this dubious introduction, we are witness to Mr. Voorhees' first two murders as he offs the middle-aged proprietors of a nearby convenience store on his way to Higgins Haven, where lovely young Chris has elected to spend the weekend along with a bunch of brainless buddies. Hiding in a barn adjacent to the Higgins' cottage, Jason bides his time until he has regained enough strength to kill all the vacationing idiots in various gruesome ways, leaving Chris to fight him alone and liberate herself from her crippling emotional angst. There's some mild teenage frolicking in there too, and some cringe-inducing attempts at humor courtesy of a curly-haired butterball called Shelly, but very little in the way of narrative depth.
I struggle to find the appropriate metaphor to describe this film. Given its exclusive usage of archetypical characters and situations, and simplistic storyline, I would tend to compare it to a sort of mush, that is a flavorless, easy-to-digest type of food. But then, its uneventful narrative highlighted by the rare and predictable spectacle of swift executions put it squarely in the realm of the "date film", that is a non-film requiring minimal attention, hence favoring prolonged contact amongst teens, which is further made spontaneous by brutal scare scenes. At any rate, here is less of an earnest storytelling effort than a cheap commercial gimmick, one with no lasting value other than as a mere entry in a long-lasting series. But then, the very longevity of the Friday the 13th franchise stems directly from its lack of originality, and the minimal narrative prowess necessary to keep it alive over the years. So there is no actual reason for you to see this film other than utter completism.
As a horror film, Friday the 13th Part III, doesn't even get the basics right, eschewing any attempt at suspense to better focus on the swift execution of unidimensional characters, sheepishly expanding the series' murder portfolio without ever providing an endearing background in which to contextualize those executions. Filmed mostly in broad daylight, the film's idea of suspense is achieved by showing an open barn door, hinting at the presence of a boogeyman whom we know is the killer from frame 1. It's a shame to see such inane attempts at creating affect on the back of such an intriguing opening sequence (and I'm not talking about the embarrassing flashback to Part 2 here). Set amidst a maze of sheets drying in the wind, this scene takes full advantage of its secluded nighttime setting and the illusory depth provided by the 3D technology, pitting the two owners of a roadside convenience store against the machete-wielding maniac. The effect is great, but it is unmatched anywhere else in the film as the decors become more and more familiar and Jason's suspenseful stalking turns into systematic stabbing.
As usual in those films, almost all of the filmmakers' creativity is depleted in the design of elaborate murder pieces. Hence, we get meat cleaver, knitting needle, pitchfork, speargun, fire poker and machete wounds to the head and chest, as well as a bisection, an electrocution and an eye-popping head crush (see illustration above), the wide gamut of which requires the bothersome addition of some archetypical punk kids, whose presence in the sleepy countryside is perplexing at best. While these murders provide a chance for the FX people to pad their resumes, their stellar work isn't featured onscreen nearly long enough to compensate for the tedious wait therefor. As such, its simple presence hardly justifies our continued attention for the rest of the runtime, especially since the story is almost entirely confined to the Higgins' cabin and adjacent barn. Not unlike the summer camps from the previous chapters, these familiar settings are undoubtedly meant to remind the target teenage audience of their own summertime frolicking. Unfortunately, this makes for a rather underwhelming, shockingly constrictive film experience, which perfectly stands for this entire runaway series.
Scouring the web, I was surprised to discover that Part III is widely considered by fans to be one of the best in the series. And while I prefer Part I, X and XI (all of which showcase at least some measure of originality), I must say that the present film's amusing use of 3D does put it a cut above its competition. Obviously, it ultimately remains a trite exercise in repetition, a desperately commercial endeavor with no other pretension than to make yet another quick buck on the back of the shameless emulation of Italian giallo, but it does boast that little something special. And so I urge you to see the film in its original 3D iteration, or to not see it at all, the latter option remaining the most sound one.
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| The outstanding opening sequence sets the stage for a brutal fall from grace. |
As usual in those films, almost all of the filmmakers' creativity is depleted in the design of elaborate murder pieces. Hence, we get meat cleaver, knitting needle, pitchfork, speargun, fire poker and machete wounds to the head and chest, as well as a bisection, an electrocution and an eye-popping head crush (see illustration above), the wide gamut of which requires the bothersome addition of some archetypical punk kids, whose presence in the sleepy countryside is perplexing at best. While these murders provide a chance for the FX people to pad their resumes, their stellar work isn't featured onscreen nearly long enough to compensate for the tedious wait therefor. As such, its simple presence hardly justifies our continued attention for the rest of the runtime, especially since the story is almost entirely confined to the Higgins' cabin and adjacent barn. Not unlike the summer camps from the previous chapters, these familiar settings are undoubtedly meant to remind the target teenage audience of their own summertime frolicking. Unfortunately, this makes for a rather underwhelming, shockingly constrictive film experience, which perfectly stands for this entire runaway series.
Scouring the web, I was surprised to discover that Part III is widely considered by fans to be one of the best in the series. And while I prefer Part I, X and XI (all of which showcase at least some measure of originality), I must say that the present film's amusing use of 3D does put it a cut above its competition. Obviously, it ultimately remains a trite exercise in repetition, a desperately commercial endeavor with no other pretension than to make yet another quick buck on the back of the shameless emulation of Italian giallo, but it does boast that little something special. And so I urge you to see the film in its original 3D iteration, or to not see it at all, the latter option remaining the most sound one.
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| God I hate this guy! If only there was an inkling of personality behind this bland mask... |
1/5 This tedious, lackluster exercise in repetition is saved only by its lovely leading ladies and some truly amusing use of the 3D technology.
